Frequently Asked Questions

stolen from the internet until we recreate this imminently.

stolen from the internet until we recreate this imminently.

 
 

1. What is a grape witch?

A grape witch is any woman or man (grape wizard!) who appreciates the small pleasures in life: principally excellent food, excellent wine as complement to all great food and times and probably some dancing and authentic feeling too. Grape witches fiercely defend all that is good and sacred and connects us to our earth, our bodies and each other. Grape witches bring people together. Celebrate the strange, mysterious light and dark in all of us. Encourage all to be present and dance under the new moon to make our world a better place. Grape witches support other grape witches and wizards doing cool fire things: artists, creators, teachers, makers, sellers. They hold their coven in mind. They act with grace and aren't afraid to say and do exactly what they feel. 

2. Why do we need grape witches so badly?! What is the opposite of a grape witch?

With great pleasure, it is increasingly easy to make conscious choices in the food, clothing and other items we consume. This is wonderful and empowering! At present it is very difficult for the average witch or wizard to apply this same thoughtful choosing to wine. This is part of the beauty of wine! It is ancient, magical and made from many places. We love this! So much to discover. It also makes it tough to get to know though, especially when it can seem very snobby and expensive. It takes a deep understanding of spells and history to know you are consuming real, soulful things. 

This is further muddied by our ever commercialized, globalized world where the wine we most easily find in our grocery stores and shelves are dominated by big brands posing as small brands and a lot of McDonalds Wine. McDonalds Wine is sold by Business Men. It is made in very large quantities, with up to 200 additives that don't need to be on labels and often a healthy dose of added sugar. Though there is nothing wrong with McDonalds Wine or Business Men, the important thing is to know when you are drinking McDonalds Wine and not grapes from a farmer. To empower you to make that choice and know what it means. 

We believe in real wine, in the transformative power of grapes from farmers that evocatively communicate place and time with fortitude. Grape Witch wine transports you, moves you, stays with you. You remember it. It probably won't hurt your head (as much! :) as it is only made from grapes and not weird chemicals you can't pronounce. You'll want to take its photo and introduce it to your family on the second date.

2. You two are so cute and young! Can you even drink?!

We can! Thank you for noticing! 

3. What are your favourite wines?

We love wines with an old world soul. Often this is wines from Europe made in a tiny hilly town, a forgotten island or an active Volcano. Other times it is made in Oregon or New Zealand or Niagara, but with a careful hand striving for elegance and not oak or fruit or big flavours created by wine making and not the grape and place and year.

We love white wines that taste like gold and stones, cold red that taste like pepper and dry hay, sparkling that tastes like vampire blood and mulberry pie. About everything in between. Balance and passion are required. Like the best potions, naturally made witch wines are made from things you can pronounce and grow. They are fermented and aged with extreme care, great determination and a fervent love.

4. What is a witch review?

A witch review is when we take our favourite wine and replicate its flavours as a potion in our cauldron. It is describing wine in a way that is silly and fun, but also real and empowering. How a wine makes you feel, what you see when you close your eyes, what the smells and textures remind you of, what season it evokes, these are all paramount in #WITCHREVIEWS. Please make your own and send them to us. Our hearts will explode with pride.

5. I want you in my life ALL THE TIME. How do I do that?

Get in line! Just kidding! We want you all the time too! But also want to respect your personal space! Let's develop healthy relationships together! First of all, you should definitely come to our Grape Witch SEANCE WINE RAVE the first Monday of every month at Superpoint in Toronto from 9 pm to 2 am. You can also book us for your dinner, dog birthday or personal seance. We will choose powerful wines that aren't at the LCBO and tell you beautiful stories about them while wearing velvet. We also do Bat/Bar Mitzvahs! Weddings! Meditation circles! Sweet 19s! Really we are open. Tell us how we can help. We love collaborations and anything that will make our hearts (and yours) sing.

6. What do you do when you're not drinking wine?

We love all sorts of things! We also drink great coffee and kombucha. We like forests and hugging big trees, as well as glacial streams and saunas. We love to talk about our feelings, share our secrets, dream big dreams and dance together and with you. In the day we import and sell great wine to restaurants and decide on your great wine at some fancy restaurants. We also love music and movement and meeting new people from around the world. We encourage travel and chances and buying more inappropriate silk dresses. 

7. Will you dance with me?

We will!