Welcome.

We are Nicole (witch name, la petite garçon) & Krysta (witch name, kika), but prefer if you refer to us by our maiden name, The Grape Witches.  We live and breathe the best wine and magic. Together our coven is deliciously unstoppable. Events. Reviews. Sorcery. 

I'll be Wachau-ng You

I'll be Wachau-ng You

LCBO AND U!!! Nikolaihof Wachau Grüner Veltliner is as confusing to pronounce as it is delicious to imbibe. 🍋🍈

Yes, we know it is cold and you want to drink red wine, miss pilates and stop thinking about if you actually need winter tires. ✨☃️💸 You’re fine!!!! But Grüner is sooooo good and pairs with many Uber eats options srsly you will thank us. Think Sauvignon Blanc’s exotic sister who smokes a lot but it suits her; somehow both pretty flowers + mystery citrus and savoury oily peppery edge, pass the green curry. 🔪🚬 If she had to choose, which she’d prefer not to, her favourite flower would be a decaying yellow daisy by a salty mineral river that has recently encountered a small oil spill. It’s under control now thanks to new robot technology, so you can just revel in its comforting intoxicating aroma. #exmachina 👽 When you walk by the spill in late summer you admire an exotic necklace by the Danube. It’s a market type thing and ultimately you’re too embarrassed to buy it because are you supposed to haggle?? Is this a tourist trap?? But you genuinely love it and are sad the next day when your high speed train whisks you to Vienna and away from its foreign charm and challenging beauty. 🥨 Now is your chance. Take the leap. 🌞 Buy the necklace! The necklace is this wine. Nikolaihof has wine roots from the Roman Empire making them one of Austria’a oldest wineries and also one of the first to adopt biodynamic practices. 🌗🌘🌒🌓 Their website also speaks of the wineries “enchanting atmosphere for splendid celebration” #AUSTRIANWITCH and they offer a range of biodynamic skin care omg tell us everything. 💐 They are a fully biodiverse farm with all sorts of herbs, fruits, flowers and honey to smuggle back if you ever find yourself in Wachau encountering tall attractive locals and eating liptauer. ⚡️🔥✨☀️🧀🍯 Busi, Baba! 💕🍷🍇👯🔮 #lcboandu Only $20.95!!!!!

We ❤️ Thymiopoulos and Almost Spell it Right Every Time.

We ❤️ Thymiopoulos and Almost Spell it Right Every Time.

Texier in the Upside-Down

Texier in the Upside-Down