Jurançon Noir & Malbec, Cahors, France | You F&@k My Wine follows in the great tradition of winemakers passive-aggressively giving the finger to their given geographical authorities. In the case of this juicy red blend, it was declassified from Cahors AOC due to the inclusion of Jouves’ favourite regional grape, Jurançon Noir, leading to Jouves eschewing the appellation entirely, opting instead to live life as a Vin de France, which as we all know, have more fun anyways. Made from a single, half-hectare plot, this biodynamic blend was fermented and aged for 6 months in concrete tank. Glossy, effortless and gently rustic with layers of dark, billowing fruit and notes of scratch & sniff cherry, raspberry seed, black pepper and a whiff of milk chocolate. With soft, supple & succulent tannins, put a chill on this rascal and enjoy with the trashiest television you can muster – it’s your time to become a Real Housewife!

Malbec & Cabernet Franc, Cahors, France | Makes you feel like you just bowled a turkey in front of your crush. Fabien is a fifth generation winemaker working with 44 acres of organic and biodynamic vineyards in the mountains of Cahors, southwest France. In this region, malbec (aka côt) is the king of grapes and Jouves aims to reveal its many expressions when selecting parcels. 70% dark and plump malbec & 30% green-brambly cabernet franc from 25 year old vines. A whole cluster, seven day maceration brings the right amount of tannin grip to keep the partayyy going with every sip. Flower petals and stems, dusty purple fruits, orange skin, blackberry seeds, cracked Earth & black liquorice. Pour alongside smokey BBQ ribs and doing the Macarena!

Côt AKA Malbec, Cahors, France | A rare & amphora-aged red from Southern France savant-meets-winemaker, Fabien Jouves! Growing up in a winemaking family and coming from an agricultural background, one might think that his wines celebrate tradition but instead, they buck it entirely, honing in on biodynamic principles to consider not only his 50-year-old vines, but the entire ecosystem of flora and fauna surrounding them. Sourced from a single hectare, this is an expression of Côt at its most elevated and elegant, Burgundy in stature – as hinted by the bottle shape – but Beaujolais in snark, a real Gemini with both sides in check, an exercise in elegance and restraint. After a 30 day ferment in (unusually, limestone) amphora, the wine ages for an additional six months on its lees before being bottled without fining or filtration. Ripe in fruit, richly textured & slightly peppery, this is well worth the stained white shirt. Blueberry, clove-studded strawberry, orange peel & lingonberry preserves on a black pepper scone meets earthy plum, vanilla bean & herby tannins, almost like a heart-warming, industry shot of fernet. Decant and discover in the darkest corner of the bar and let this wine murmur sweet nothings in your ear.

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