Pineau d’Aunis, Gamay, Cabernet Sauvignon & Friends, Loire Valley, France 

Infamous in its purity and universality, this is a zero-zero blend of mainly red grapes with a sploosh of white. Known for his über-naturalist approach in the vineyard, Desplats doesn’t plow, use sulphur or copper, instead he cultivates a polyculture of herbs, flowers, grains and trees across his six hectares. This exists alongside a paltry 1.6 hectares of vines, which are also cultivated without gas or power. He vinifies in qvevri exclusively, clay amphora vessels that are buried outside his unelectrified shack in the woods which sounds just a touch ludicrous until you finally get to the wine, an unbridled & slightly feral creature that literally must be tamed in the glass, a reason to use the rarely-seen 5 on our Freaky Scale. Toschi cherries, black fruit, powdered granite structure with a slight effervescence that when faded, explores more savoury, herbal territory, the inside of a cobbler’s workspace, leather and freshly cut wood. Electric, prismatic and built Ford tough, this feels like it was delivered by a breathless emissary on horseback, pure Narnia juice from the Wicked Witch herself.